Choke Hold

The air is thick around here. The deployment cloud is looming. The sadness, the impending loneliness, the endless worry--it's all like humidity in the air. It sticks to you, it makes it hard to breathe. It has a choke hold on this whole damn base and for that matter the whole damn Army. So what if it's not my husband this year, inevitably it will be his year. Inevitably it will be my tears, my loneliness and my worry. It's all the same these days--this year, next year, Army, Navy, Marine, Air Force- we're all in this mess together. The War has a choke hold on all of us. The collective sigh of these war weary veterans is growing heavier. You can't avoid it when you live it. Everyday is one day closer to him leaving (again), like we are just funneling our days through the deployment hourglass. The minute he returns home it's just like someone flipped the hourglass back over and we start the countdown to him leaving all over again. Block leave is in full swing here for these pre-deployment troops. They're all trying to soak it in, savor every last second. They sip their beers a little slower. They look a little longer into their wife's eyes. They sink a little lower into the soft spot in the couch. They're just trying to be the best husband, father and friend they can be while they can be. The pre-deployment gun is to their head and they're all just waiting for the Army to pull the trigger.