Attitude Adjustment Needed
The last few weeks have been rocky. Blogger block has really set in too, so I haven't had an outlet to vent my silly frustrations and that has definitely made matters worse. It's all ended up dumped on my mostly innocent family. (mostly is the key word there) Epic, I mean EPIC fail on my part-I have been ugly on the inside and out. My issues really are just about as pathetic as it gets, I admit it-there are many worse things that could happen to me. What it really boils down to is the sheer quantity of hits I have been taking not necessarily the quality. So here goes a monster rant -get ready it's a doozy. I'm working entirely too much, I never see my kids and my husband. Last week I worked 4 shifts from 1900-0730. When I am home I am so dropped dead tired from being up all night I usually fall asleep still in scrubs at the kitchen table in a failed attempt to catch up with my kids. I have gained a whopping 15lbs since I arrived in Hawaii and I can't even stay awake long enough to think about working out. Don't even get me started on the sad state of affairs my household is in. There really is a couch under all that laundry, I swear. The Army has failed to pay us correctly in 3 months now, in fact our paycheck on Friday will be all of $26.00. Our once healthy savings account is now looking Ethiopian. I need my eyebrows done, I need a hair cut, I need a pedicure-- I need some sanity. And here is what is really messing with my head--we have friends who happen to live across the street from us. They arrived in Hawaii a week before us, she is active duty and he is an RN. They have a daughter who is close in age to our son's age. Nice people. They seem happy as puppies here. God bless them-they are loving life in Hawaii. Every time we see them it's like life just gets better and better for them. WTF? WTF? Seriously, what's the deal people? What am I missing here? It's not that I am jealous, really. I have always maintained the theory it's much better to have happy successful friends than friends that are well, losers. So I am truly happy that they are happy. I am developing a serious complex here though-what the hell is wrong with me that I just can't pull myself up outta this funk and enjoy what I DO have? They seem to be doing this quite easily. I am sure that these dear people have bad days too-- so why am I harping on the negative and not thriving on the positive? Why am I letting life beat me down while these guys are managing to live in the moment? I have lost my perpetual ability to look at the bright side and it sucks. I need a serious attitude adjustment.